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Though my mother is Catholic and my father was nominally Methodist, I was born and raised Catholic. I spent my first decade or so growing up in the Youngstown area, which has a prevalent Catholic culture. It rarely occurred to me that there were large groups of devout Christians that weren't Catholic. Then again, thoughts regarding faith rarely occurred to me at all back then. Sure, my parents raised my younger sister and I with a solid sense of right and wrong, and without a doubt they raised us to believe in God, but I can't say that He was ever the focus of our lives (which meant we were like most other people, I guess). This is not to suggest that my parents did a poor job! As a matter of fact, I love them for raising me in the way they knew how, because I know they offered me the best they had, and I wouldn't have turned out to be the person I am today were it not for the strong foundations they gave me and their own way of expressing love for God at that time in their own journey of faith.
I went to St. Luke's Catholic School in Boardman through 5th grade. I am sure I learned a lot about Christianity, but much of it was quickly forgotten besides the very basics, such as the Trinity, etc., once I began attending public schools. I went to Poland Middle School for one year, and then our family moved to Uniontown, where I attended Lake Middle School. For the first time, we were without a parish, and since we couldn't find one where we felt comfortable, we stopped going to Mass on Sundays and began attending only on Christmas and Easter. Another first for me was the realization that there weren't as many Catholics in my circle of friends as I'd been accustomed to growing up. This brought about a whole new set of "challenges" in my life.
Through God's providence, nearly all my closest friends in high school were devout Christians. There was one, in particular, who had a tremendous impact on my faith formation, and he later would become my "best man." He was a non-denominational Christian who was never shy about inviting me on church outings or Bible studies. Most of the time, I declined, feeling uncomfortable because I lacked the knowledge and faith he so clearly had. Looking back, I know that was the point of his invitations, though at the time, I felt them to be unwanted pressures. Our private conversations about Christianity, however, inspired me greatly, for many reasons. On the one hand, he showed me the importance of faith in Jesus as the way to heaven, and he used portions of Romans Chapter 10 to do so, which impressed me, because I thought, "If it's in the Bible, then it must be true." On the other hand, something about the idea that faith was all that mattered didn't set well with my Catholic upbringing. I wondered, "Don't our actions matter at all?" Can a person just believe in Jesus and get to heaven, no matter what they do with their life, for good or evil? With my dear friend and others who more or less shared his same faith convictions, it was always that same nagging feeling that kept me from joining their churches. It just didn't feel like the full Truth.
Having graduated high school, I went to college locally and began to date someone whom I had met as an acquaintance at Lake High. She had been friends with most of my friends, and she quickly became my very best. She also happened to be Catholic, and it was clear to me very early on that I would need to begin attending Mass with her on a somewhat regular basis if our relationship had any hope of surviving. Begrudgingly, I would go to Mass with her from time to time, sometimes enjoying it, but more often resenting it. While I wanted to impress her, I also was certain that I "got more out of Mass" when I went less often. That wasn't as much of an excuse as it might seem. It was genuinely how I felt at the time. Part of my resentment was that I had misconceptions about the Catholic Church that were growing due to my conversations with my non-Catholic friends. The "rigors" of Catholicism, the "demands," the perceived "legalism" of having to do this thing or that thing, simply turned me off. It is little wonder how this attitude caused many arguments between my girlfriend and I. Thanks be to God, she was patient with me, because through God's grace my heart began to soften. I even decided to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation at the age of 20, something I had put off several years before, due to being unsure of whether or not I would remain a Catholic.
Looking back, I know now that I wasn't really prepared for Confirmation when I received it. I still held onto so many misguided ideas about the Church that it amazes me that I went through with it. What I now know is that a person is rarely ever fully prepared to make their Confirmation. It is simply a bolder step into God's grace through the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and it should begin a process of conversion that continually leads a person more strongly and deeply into the heart and mind of God. I must say, this is one powerful sacrament! My life hasn't been the same since.
A year or two passed after my Confirmation, and I began attending Church more regularly, dabbled in the Church choir for a summer, and even began teaching 4th grade PSR (or CCD) with the same girlfriend, whom I had been dating for almost four years. Midway through the year, we experienced a breakup. While losing a relationship like that might have been devastating for some, we remained friendly due to the fact that we had to be responsible, mature adults in front of the students with whom we were charged with passing on the Faith. We made it through the last few months of teaching with a healthy respect for one another, though our communication faded more and more once summer began.
As I experienced independence for the first time as an adult, I felt pretty reckless. I can't say I ever really lost my sense of morality, but I wasn't taking care of myself, either. I would stay out late with friends and began going to church less and less as well. I hit a low point in my faith, where I even questioned God's existence, which made me begin to question everything else. Despite this and an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, from time to time I actually would force myself to go to Mass on Sundays simply because I felt better when I did. I owe part of my return to Mass to a Catholic friend of mine who had been my doubles partner on the varsity tennis team in high school, and he was also a dear friend of my ex-girlfriend. He had already been through a similar struggle with his beliefs, and had come to the conclusion that the Catholic Church, over the course of almost 2,000 years, had already asked the questions he was now asking, and in fact, had already given better answers than his tiny mind could possibly come up with on his own (and this, from a valedictorian). He firmly believed the Holy Spirit worked through the Church, and so began to accept the Church's teaching authority on faith. The logic was simple - if he believed in Jesus, and Jesus left his authority to the Church, then to trust the Church is to trust Jesus and nothing less than that would do for a person who possesses true faith! I found this to be very moving, and it sincerely rang true in my heart. In addition, I am sure part of my return to Mass had to do with the fact that I'd see my ex-girlfriend there sometimes, and we'd sit in the parking lot afterward, sometimes for an hour or more, just talking. We were dating other people at the time, but not seriously, and something became more and more clear as the months passed. We had both been struggling in our faith, we both felt compelled to come to Mass once in a while, and as Divine Intervention would have it, we only stayed in touch when we would happen to attend the same Masses. God's message was clear enough. We were meant to be together, and both of us realized that God was the central reason why. We were built on solid ground, with roots grown deep in faith, and that, we realized, was the one thing that makes a relationship stand or fall in the long run. After about 6 months apart, we got back together.
I married Brandy about a year and a half later at St. Paul's, and prior to that time, we gave our thanks to God by attending Mass every Sunday together. We haven't stopped since. I thank God for her everyday and am blessed to share with her the one unique Sacrament God gives for one man and one woman to share for life.
Upon getting married, we moved to Tennessee. We spent only a year there due to the nature of my wife's job at the time. While there, we found ourselves at home in the local parish, which was one of only two Catholic parishes in the three county area. We were definitely in the midst of the "Bible Belt." Taking nothing away from the many wonderful people and dear friends we met while we were there, we were also challenged by others about our Catholicism. It would come in the form of door-to-door evangelizing, or more often through coworkers. Some would ask questions out of pure curiosity (not knowing many Catholics themselves), while others would challenge, and almost provoke us with accusatory comments guided by their misconceptions of our faith. Unfortunately, these false impressions were often given to them by their own pastors. Sometimes, this was very disheartening for us, but mostly, it motivated us to turn to the Church for answers. We already had Bibles, so we bought a Catechism of the Catholic Church. We bought books on Catholic customs and traditions. We searched the internet. To sum it up, we left no stone unturned in order to provide solid and true answers to our objectors.
The Truth can be addictive! In our search for answers, we absolutely fell in love with Jesus and His Church, and my tennis buddy's witness of faith finally began to bear abundant fruit. Before we knew it, our newfound knowledge of Catholicism was forging deep and lasting relationships with non-Catholic friends, for we were sharing our faith with them and they were sharing theirs with us. Today we are all the better for it, and the Body of Christ made up of all Christians is that much stronger for it as well. The only sad part is that just as those new friendships were beginning to blossom, we prepared to move home.
Moving home was bittersweet. We had to leave new friends behind, but at the same time we were expecting our firstborn and we were able to be close to our families for the first time as a married couple. On top of that, we were excited to be living in our first house, and we were fortunate to buy one in the town where we grew up. Naturally, I had to find a new job, and due to our experiences in Tennessee, I opted to take one stab at teaching in a Catholic School. I remembered that St. Paul's was more than a parish with a church. It had a school. I contacted Mrs. Zufall about openings and arranged for an interview. I contacted Father Joe Rudjak (who was the priest-celebrant at our nuptial Mass) to ask him to put in a good word for me. Finally, I prayed that I would find a job somewhere! As it turned out, I interviewed at several schools and knew instantly that St. Paul School was where I was meant to be. I ended up teaching 5th grade Math, Social Studies, and Science my first year. During that year, I experienced so many blessings! I had the opportunity to work with a living saint, Mrs. Sue Cramer (may she rest in peace). I also began work on my Master's degree and more importantly, our first child, Emma, was born. Life was already very good. A coworker here at St. Paul's told me about a few more websites I should tap into regarding the Faith, and I began to wonder if I might ever teach Religion. I began to pray that this was God's will for me.
As it turned out, the 6-8th grade Religion position opened up, and I immediately asked if I could fill it. Thanks be to God, Mrs. Zufall gave me the spot. Though I loved teaching 5th grade, I have a firm conviction that teaching the Catholic Faith is my professional calling. I honestly love what I do, and I know a lot of people who, in their own line of work, cannot say the same for themselves. With that in mind, I try not to take it for granted. I wouldn't trade what I do for any amount of fame or fortune. The students (and parents) I have met over the last several years have impacted my life in amazing ways. I hope in some way I have been able to impact theirs for Christ.
Since taking this teaching position, my wife and I have been richly blessed with the birth of our second child, Ryan (in May of '04), a third, Joseph (in October of '05), a fourth, John Paul (in June of '08), and a fifth, Luke (in June of '10). We also have grown in our faith, and we take part in several important ministries as time allows. Other amazing things continue to happen all around me as well. One example is the singular blessing of seeing my dad join the Catholic Church during Easter of '08, and others include my sister's wedding and being awarded the Golden Apple Award for teaching - all in the same year. Life is never dull!
Perhaps anyone who might be reading this is wondering, "Where is the conversion part of this 'conversion' story?" The answer? It's in every significant moment you just read about, the "insignificant" moments I've likely forgotten about, it's right here and right now, and it's everyday hereafter that I try to follow Jesus Christ. Life in Christ is constant conversion. Thanks be to God!
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